WAIT! Did you hear that?!?! I believe it is the call of the wild pillow! It is indeed very rare and hard to capture!! I am a Master Pillow Hunter. I didn't get pictures of our adventures this time, but thought I would share pictures of previous pillow hunting experiences. I will include instructions on how to correctly and successfully hunt pillows following the pictures.
 |
| The right teddy bear makes all the difference |
 |
| Don't worry. Baer was not harmed while hunting pillows. |
There are some supplies that you need to gather before going pillow hunting. First, ensure that you are wearing the appropriate attire. We all know that undesirable, and even potentially harmful things can happen if you are not wearing the proper clothing for whatever event you are planning, be it pillow hunting, cocktail parties or swimming. Just as you would never wear hooker boots in the pool, I don't advise wearing anything other than your most comfy pajamas while pillow hunting.
Once you are dressed in your finest pj's you need to find bait. Anyone that has ever been hunting, fishing or dating knows that without bait you are not going to catch the very best. Without good bait you will only attract the very slimmest and least fluffy of all the pillows and no one wants that. I use my most loved teddy bear, Baer. Pillows can smell love and will come flocking when a loved fluffy animal is in the room. Remember though that it must have been loved. Simply placing a new stuffed animal on the bed that has not had the opportunity to be hugged and snuggled will not bring in the pillows that you want.
So, you should now be dressed in jammies and armed with an important teddy bear or something similar. DO NOT WORRY! Your loved one will not be harmed during this process! Place your teddy bear in the middle of the bed and lie down quietly next to him or her. Wait very patiently and soon you will notice wild pillows slowly creeping up. When it gets close enough to catch you need to snatch it very quickly and smush it under your head. Don't be afraid. Pillows have no hard, sharp or dangerous parts to them.... Once the pillow is under your head it will play dead and you will be able to enjoy a good nights sleep.
Good luck and sweet dreams!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment